I'm coming back. I swear.

Internet should be up and running by tonight. God-willing I'll be able to post tomorrow. Get ready.

In Which I Had the Most Amazingly Horrible Day in Recent Record

Upon coming to the end of this day, I had a strikingly overwhelming urge to drink myself into utter oblivion. Much to my chagrin, the adult in me rose up and deemed such behavior a bad idea, considering I will have to get up to feed Too in approximately six hours and greet our moving buddies again in about 10 hours. The feeding part is really what got me, because if the four men that graced my front step at 8:00 a.m. this morning weren't scared off by how I looked then, surely nothing could prevent them from doing their jobs. 

Along that same vein, allow me to give you but a glimpse of the truly amazing day I had.

It's Been Real

(I promise to fill in the moving gaps from where I left off on Friday sometime in the coming week, assuming we have any access to the internet at all upon finally getting to Franklin. Today, however, I felt the need to address the business of the movers and the problems and concerns they elicit.)

The moving company comes tomorrow. So I guess that means that we are, in fact, really moving. I've been in denial for a good month over this, but I think it will definitely slap me in the face tomorrow when a bunch of presumably bearded, burly, lumberjack types show up at my door and begin packing up all of our personal belongings. And in no way will that be awkward.

This particular fact gave me momentary pause.

In Which We Move Four Times In One Year

So, we have returned home for about a minute before we vacate permanently and take up residence in Franklin. It's a bittersweet kind of thing. This is the first place we have ever owned as a family. We brought Too home from the hospital to this house, and when we purchased this house, we fully anticipated living here for a while. "A while" for us is a fairly relative term, as you will soon come to see, because today I'm going to share a little bit of our moving history. Our extensive moving history... It is my personal suggestion that you bathe, potty, grab a snack, and clear the rest of your day prior to reading further.

The keys to our first home. Which were used for a whole five months.

A Day in the Life: Part Two

So, after a night of waking up basically every hour on the hour with an enormously grumpy Too, I have made the executive decision to leave this God-forsaken hotel for our Lexington home. Granted, I am leaving my husband behind for a house with an empty refrigerator (yes, I really just compared leaving Tim to an empty fridge), but I cannot spend one more night here. Yeah. It's gotten that bad. I take peace in knowing that the guests of floor two will sleep peacefully tonight for possibly the first time all week and may actually be able to enjoy their complimentary continental breakfast sans Lils and her habitual touching of everything. (You're welcome.) Going home promises a whole different set of pleasantries, but I'll share those at a later date. 

One other side note before I get into the goods: I went to Crossfit last night and barely made it out alive. The only thing that kept me alive was the thought of breaking your dear hearts if I did die. You'd miss me, and you know it. That being said, I am currently in more pain than I really care to dialogue about, and that's that.

A Day in the Life: Part One

So before I really delve into the awesomeness that is a day in my fabulous, enviable life at the ultra-modern Franklin Hampton Inn, I thought it best to provide a few minor introductions. 

Obviously, we all know me. I'm originally from small-town Ohio, but I've lived all over, which is a post for another day... I have been married to my husband Tim since October 2008. He is a chef and the main reason for all of this incessant moving. We have two girls. Our honeymoon baby Lillian just turned three, and "baby sister" Tristan is pushing four months. For the sake of convenience, we will call them Lils and Too (Tristan's initials), respectively. 

A Step-By-Step Guide to Getting Kicked Out of Your Hotel

We have spent the last eight out of ten days living in the Hampton Inn of Franklin, Kentucky. It's less fun than it sounds. In fact, I'm fairly certain that we are going to be asked to leave rather unceremoniously before our tenure here is up... As such, I am providing you with a comprehensive guide to just that: getting kicked out of your hotel in one week or less.